Life and Death
by Cup-Noodles
Summary: [One-Shot] With the death of his squad, Levi feels mentally and emotionally drained. He contemplates what his future will be like and whether or not he can have a happy ending. Mikasa is there to support him and to show him that there might be hope for a happily ever after. (Levi x Mikasa).


**Life and Death**

The members of the survey Corps lined up in front of the slowly opening gates. "Levi," someone called. He turned around to see Petra waving to him. "We're ready to follow your orders," she said. He knew that she trusted him unconditionally and that she would follow him to the ends of the earth if he asked her to. Before he turned back, she said, "Take care of yourself." he nodded in response. The gates were now wide open. They rode out into Titan Territory.

They were not prepared for what followed, blood, death, and titans. Levi's squad followed their orders fatefully. Like Petra, every member of his squad trusted him completely.

 **A/N:** You all know what happens in the anime. I am going to skip that part and write about what happens when they return from the expedition.

The crowds were shouting when they entered the city. They were loud and angry, calling for a justification for the deaths. Out of the cries of hatred and fear came a calm voice, Petra's father. He told Levi about Petra's letter. He told him about Petra's admiration and about the love she felt for him. His words rang in Levi's ear. "I'm sorry," was all Levi said before leaving the procession and darting into one of the alleys. He found his way back to HQ through various alleys and streets. He went into his room and slammed the door behind him. He sank to down to the floor, placing his head on his knees and his hands on his head. He stood up abruptly and lunged forward. In anger, he threw his desk over. He cried out, a loud raspy cry, and then continued to turn furniture over. It was a sparsely furnished room and it didn't take long to turn all the furniture over. He sank back down on the floor. He could hear footsteps in the hallway outside his room. "Captain?" someone knocked on the door. He could not even have some privacy in his own room. He was expected to act as a military officer would: complete the job professionally and continue without hint of sorrow or personal lost. Humanity's Strongest could not show weakness, even in the most difficult of situations.

Levi stormed out of the room, pushing past the person in front of his door. Levi felt unstable, as if his legs could not carry the weight of his body. He stumbled through the hallway. Everything looked like a blur. It felt like the world was spinning too quickly and everyone was moving at the same speed. He was the only one that was too slow, the only one that time had left behind. As a skilled member of the Survey Corps, he had seen too many people leave the walls and never come back. Everyone had left him to join the old enemy named Death. There were only a handful of people who had stayed with him through the years; Erwin and Hanji were among them. However, he knew that they were both broken. He was sure that Hanji had, bright as she was, gone crazy. Erwin had devoted his whole life to the Corps. When his fiancé had forced him to choose between her and the Corps, he had chosen to stay with the Corps. She left him soon after. What that his fate? He wondered. Would everyone leave him behind? Years down the road, would he find himself old and alone? He imagined lying on his deathbed. He would look out the window and see that the walls were still standing. He yearned for a life outside the walls. He realized that he wanted a family. He wanted to die in peace with his family around him.

He continued to stumble through the hall. He eventually found his way outside. The sun was setting and everyone was busy unloading the supplies from the expedition. One cart held the dead bodies of some of the soldiers. There were only a few since they had had to leave the rest behind. He was not even able to take Petra's body home. He wanted to shout, kick, and punch. He wanted to throw a tantrum, to lose complete control and cecum to his rage. However, he was out in the open. Humanity's Strongest does not lose control. He saw Mikasa standing a few feet away from him. Everyone around them continued to travel at a different speed but the two of them were fixed in place. He was not alone.

They had tried to avoid each other when rumors about them engaging in a romantic relationship started. Over the past few months they had started to form a friendship but Hanji's loud mouth drew attention to what Erwin called "An inappropriate relationship between an officer and a subordinate". The rumors started and the sweet and fleeting friendship that Levi and Mikasa both treasured, came to a sudden end. However, it was now the two of them again and it felt right to be together. Mikasa stepped forward and took his hand, guiding him to the side of the building and up the stairs to the top of the roof. She took off her riding hood covered their heads with it. "Nobody can see you." she said, "It's just you and me. If you want to shout, shout. If you want to punch and kick, you know that I can block anything you throw at me. And if you want to cry I'll be here to hold you."

It was dark but he could still see the beautiful outline of her face. Before him was a warrior and a queen. They sank to the ground and Levi placed his hand on her cheek. Her skin was warm beneath his touch and his heart thumped in his chest. He wanted to lean in and kiss her. Then he remembered Petra. Mikasa deserved better. He felt like a cold blade was plunged into his heart. Mikasa deserved to be loved by someone better than him. She deserved to be with someone who wasn't broken, someone who could give her a better life. He was still Humanity's Strongest and his first priority was the welfare of humanity in general. He could not devote himself to a single person. He knew that he should push her away but He pulled her close to him. Her head rested on his chest and he planted a kiss on her forehead. Mikasa felt a tear run down his face and on to hers. He mourned the death of his squad as well as the life he would never have with Mikasa.

 **A/N:** What do you guys think? Do you want more? If you want a continuation on this story line, check out my other story Behind the Mask. This one short is based on chapter 15 of that story.

Thanks and happy reading,

Cup-Noodles


End file.
